Quotes and One-Liners
[Proofs that odd numbers are prime] Mathematician: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, therefore, by induction, all odd numbers are prime. Physicist: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a bad data point, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Engineer: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is approximately prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Computer Scientist: 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime,
Famous 'Last Words'
Famous 'Last Words'
Famous 'Last Words'
Famous 'Last Words'
Famous 'Last Words' A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. Robert A. Heinlein Any computer project will take twice as long as you think it will even when you take into account Hofstadter's law. Hofstadter's law (Douglas Hofstadter) Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies. Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies. Bill Bulko Computer: "How do you feel?" Spock: "I don't understand the question." Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants. - Isaac Newton If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to. Dennis Miller, SNL Weekend Update It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. John Von Neumann (ca. 1949) It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occurred in the Old Testament. This, of course, was when Moses aborted the Egyptians' process with a control-sea... Tom Galloway No computer has ever been designed that is ever aware of what it's doing; but most of the time, we aren't either. Marvin Minsky People in the computer industry use the word "user," which to them means "idiot." Dave Barry Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software. Arthur C. Clarke Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. E. W. Dijkstra The brain can be seen as a complex machine, like a gooey computer. Robert C. Solomon The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila. Mitch Ratcliffe. The other major kind of computer is the "Apple," which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use. Dave Barry The primary purpose of the Data statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable Pi can be given that value with a Data statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change. Fortran manual for Xerox Computers The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. Edgar W. Dijkstra Unix is not a "A-ha" experience, it is more of a "holy-shit" experience. Colin McFadyen in alt.folklore.computers When people can program computers in English, management will learn most people don't know English. Eric Guerrino
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